Hello, my name is Oisín Ó Dubhshláine and welcome to the second episode of our series on Lessons. This is the story of the Feast of Bricre.
In the time of the Ulster Cycle, before the Cattle-Raid of Cooley, fame and glory were already coming to Cú Chulainn. He was a member of the Red Branch Knights. Alongside him stood Bricre Nimhtheanga, or Bricre of the Venontongue. Cú Chulainn was only a boy at this time but Bricre was a much older soldier. As he fought in battle, he had suffered an injury that left him without the ability to eat or drink anything other than meal or water. It’s understandable that he grew bitter and he used his tongue to create trouble any place he could.
One day, he decided to host a feast and to invite all of the knights. The King of Ulster, Conchubhar Mac Nessa didn’t have much confidence in Bricre. And so, he went to his chief druid, Sencha mac Aillel. Sencha felt wary of the invitation but Conchubhar couldn’t refuse such a generous offer. As such, Sencha advised him to accept the invitation but only if Bricre would accept his conditions. The condition was that Bricre would not be allowed inside the hall as they were feasting. Conchubhar and Sencha were shocked when Bricre accepted this condition without complaint.
The Red Branch Knights went with Conchubhar Mac Nessa. Not a single one of them was happy to be going to Bricre’s House. They all believed that he would turn them against one another. But they understood that if they didn’t accept his generosity, he would put them all under a geis. He would turn son against father, daughter against mother, woman against woman. At least, with these conditions placed on him, he wouldn’t have much opportunity to meddle in their affairs. Unfortunately, this did not stop his efforts.
As they travelled to the feast, Bricre met with the three heroes of Ulster. He met Laegaire Buadach, Connall Cearnach, and Cú Chulainn, each of them on their own of course. He started praising them, telling the three of them that they were each the most powerful and strongest hero in Ulster. Not only that, but that they were the most important fighter for the Red Branch Knights.
The Knights and their families reached Bricre’s house, and what a wonderful house it was, almost as beautiful as Eamhain Mhacha. When everyone what seated and ready for dinner, eight men escorted Bricre out of the hall. He went without complaint but just before he reached the door, he called out.
“Look over there at the Curadmhír, the Warrior’s Portion. It’s certain that it should be given to the best warrior in Ireland.”
“That’s me,” Laeghaire Buadach, Connall Cearnach, and Cú Chulainn said in unison.
With a grin, Bricre left. He returned to his apartment, which he built specially so that he could see everything that happened in the hall while he was gone.
“Well, obviously, I should get the Warrior’s Portion. I am the mighty blow of Brega, the seething blow of Míde, the bearer of red flame,” Laeghaire Buadach said.
“But I am the hero of the battles and the wars. I have won more than any other Ulster warrior. No warrior here can keep up with me. As such, it belongs to me,” Connall Cearnach said.
“You’re both mistaken. I am Cú Chulainn, the Hound of Ulster. There is no hero more glorious than I in Ulster or on Irish soil. I am the battle victor of Brega, the bright flag of the Life, darling of Eamhain Mhacha, sweetheart of women and maidens. As such, it is I who should eat the Curadmhír,” Cú Chulainn said.
“Can you prove that?” the other pair asked.
With that, the paid jumped on Cú Chuliann, spear and sword in the hands of the three of them. They did terrible damage to the hall as their iron met.
“My king,” Sencha said. “In no way is this behaviour appropriate. You should put an end to it immediately.”
Conchubhar Mac Nessa was a wise man and as such, he listened to his druid. He walked into the fray without a weapon on him. When he drew closer to the three warriors, they stopped their fighting immediately, their weapons falling to the ground with a clang.
“Warriors. You’ve embarrassed us all tonight. Sit down. Now.” Conchubhar ordered.
“What will we do about the Curadmhír?”
“We’ll share it out so that everyone has the same meal. And we’ll settle this strongest warrior debate on another day.”
As such, there was peace in the hall. And as you would think, Bricre wasn’t a bit satisfied by this. He left his apartment to go in search of the women the men in the hall were waiting for. The women were delayed as they came to the feast, as such, Bricre met them outside as they walked. He met Fedelm of the Fresh Heart who was married to Laoghaire Buadach; Lendabair the Favourite who was married to Connall Cearnach; and Eimhear of the Fair Hair who was married to Cú Chulainn. He told the three women that the first woman to step foot into the hall would be the first among all women in Ireland. The three of them began to walk fairly briskly but when they saw what the other two were doing, they pulled up their skirts and began to run. With the three women running so fast and one hundred and fifty handmaidens following them, the knights inside thought that another group was attacking the hell. They grabbed their swords, ready to fight but the charge came to a sudden halt when the women reached the door.
The next thing, the knights heard the women outside, speaking to one another. They had a war of words, the only thing capable of cutting deeper than swords. Laeghaire Buadach, Connall Cearnach, and Cú Chulainn each recognised their own wives’ voices and jumped to help them. Laeghair Buadach and Connal Cearnach ran to open the side doors but Cú Chulainn exceeded their efforts. He put his fingers under the wall and lifted it off the ground. As the two other women ran around the hall, Eimhear jumped beside her husband and into the hall. When Cú Chulainn moved the wall, Bricre had been in his apartment. With all the shaking, he grew unstable and fell out the window, landing in filth. Cú Chulainn set the wall back down again. At this point, the hall was almost destroyed.
Bricre returned to the feast and a rage came upon him when he saw that there was still peace. With his clothes destroyed by filth, he was almost unrecognisable. He stopped the food, declaring that no one else would take a single bite from their meal until Cú Chulainn had set the house once more.
At this point, Cú Chulainn was fairly wrecked. He was after fighting two other warriors, he hadn’t eaten and he’d liften a wall completely free of the ground. But, he hung his head, settling himself to set the house again. Not long after than, the feast began again and they had great craic for nine days and nine nights.
The heroes settled their debate over who the greatest hero was another day, but that’s a different story. Our lesson today is not to let rumours separate you from your allies, especially when they come from a smooth talker.
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