Hello, my name is Oisín Ó Dubhshláine and welcome to the first episode of our series on Lessons. Today, I’ll tell you the story of the Churl in the Drab Coat.
One day, the Fianna stood on the Hill of Howth. They spotted a ship coming into the bay.
“Who’s that?” Cónan Maol asked.
“Hard to tell,” Fionn answered.
“Well, use your thumb,” Cónan Maol said.
Fionn didn’t bother. There was no need, the sailor would come to them soon.
The Fianna waited on the top of the hill and with that, a man came to them.
“Who are you?” Fionn asked.
“I am Cael of the Iron. I have travelled all across Europe and from every country I’ve landed upon, I’ve taken a tribute.”
“Well for you,” Fionn answered.
“I won’t leave here until my lordship is acknowledged.”
“You won’t get that here, my friend,” Fionn said, a smile on his face.
“I put this challenge to you then,” Cael said. “If you can find someone who can beat me by race or by wrestle, I’ll leave, no problem.”
“Well, our fastest man is back in Tara, but I can fetch him now,” Fionn said.
“Fetch whoever you like. They won’t succeed against me, either way.”
Fionn left then, into the forest, on his way to Tara. He wasn’t walking long when he came across a strange man. He was a churl or a bodach, as Gaeilge. His shoes and his coat tails were caked in mud, in fact they were covered so much that the man struggled to lift his feet.
“The leader of the Fianna, walking in the woods… on his own,” the Bodach said.
“I’m looking for Caoilte Mac Rónan,” Fionn said. “He’s to run a race for me.”
“Against Cael of the Iron?”
“Is he as strong as he claims?”
By the time Caoilte has decided to run the race, Cael will be finished,” the Bodach said.
“What should I do?” Fionn asked.
“I’ll run against him,” the Bodach said.
Fionn stared for a moment.
“Have some faith in me,” the Bodach said. “Put your thumb in your mouth if you don’t.”
With that, Fionn took his thumb and pressed it to the roof of his mouth. A link was built between his mind and the Otherworld and he felt information being poured upon him.
When he removed his thumb, he was smiling.
“After you,” Fionn said.
The pair returned to the Fianna. When Cael of the Iron saw them, his face turned purple.
“You expect me to race against a Bodach!”
“Don’t worry, dear heart,” the Bodach replied. “My quality is no worse than the blood of the most delicate prince.”
Cael didn’t answer so the Bodach turned to him again.
“How far do you wish to run?”
“I never run less than sixty miles,” Cael replied.
“That’s the exact distance between here and Sliabh Luachra,” the Bodach said.
“I don’t care, the sooner I leave this country the better,” Cael said.
“We’ll ride out today and we’ll run in the morning.”
With that, the pair rode out to Sliabh Luachra in Munster. They stayed the night there. The Bodach built a small hut from trees he felled. Cael of the Iron didn’t help him, so the Bodach didn’t invite him to stay with him. The Bodach went hunting and killed a wild boar. Again. Cael didn’t lift a helping hand and as such, he didn’t eat.
After eating half the boar, the Bodach slept soundly. Cael didn’t fare so well.
Cael rose first, early in the morning and kicked the Bodach.
“We’ll start the race now,” Cael of the Iron said.
“I don’t run until I’ve had my fill of sleep. Go ahead, dear, I’ll catch up with you soon,” the Bodach said.
Cael of the Iron spat on the ground beside the Bodach and with that, he started running.
After enough sleep, the Bodach rose calmly. He ate the rest of the board and with that, he followed Cael. It’s not that he ran, but jumped and hopped. It’s said that he moved so fast that he ran on one foot, so much time would pass between him putting one foot down and then then next.
Soon enough, he caught up with Cael of the Iron.
“You didn’t have any breakfast, dear heart,” the Bodach said.
“I’m not hungry,” Cael said.
“Well, I ate breakfast and I’m hungry still,” the Bodach said.
With that, the Bodach jumped again and went out of Cael’s sight. He came across a bush full of black berries. With hands like shovels, he scooped the black berries into his mouth. As he ate, Cael of the Iron passed him by. The Bodach jumped and the pair ran side by side for awhile. The Bodach saw a strained smiled on Cael’s face.
“Will I tell you something funny?” Cael said.
“What is it?” the Bodach asked.
“I was just admiring your coat tails,” Cael said.
“You were?” the Bodach said, surprised.
“I was indeed… when I saw them caught in a tree, thirty miles back.”
With that, Cael began to laugh as the Bodach turned back to collect his coat tails. By the time he found them, Cael had nearly reached Howth. The Bodach jumped and moved in front of the wind, he moved that fast. He passed Cael by without a word but grew hungry again.
He stopped to grab some black berries, but Cael was catching up to him. He couldn’t eat them, so instead, he filled his coat with them and ran once more.
In the end, he reached the top of Howth Hill and collapsed onto the ground, filling his mouth with blackberries. The Fianna began to shout and howl around him, celebrating.
But there was one man who wasn’t happy. Cael of the Iron came up the hill, sword in hand. He swung the sword to take the Bodach’s head from him. But, the next thing, it was Cael’s head who was on the ground, and the Bodach still eating. The Bodach stood and threw Cael’s head back onto his shoulders, but it was backwards!
Without a word, he threw Cael back into his ship and with a kick, he sent it back to Thessaly. The Fianna stared at him then.
“Who are you? You’re not just a bodach,” Cónan Maol said.
Giving them a wink, the Bodach raised the wind and transformed into a strong and beautiful warrior, before jumping into the Celtic Sea.
“Who was he?” the men asked.
Fionn gave them a smile.
“The God of the Sea,” he said. “That was Manannán. Manannán Mac Lir.”
That’s the story of the Churl of the Drab Coat and these are the lessons to learn: never to judge anyone, and definitely, to be gracious in defeat.
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